Make It Wild, Not Busy: The Quiet Rebellion of Unrushed Living

Renae: How are you?

Laura: I’m okay. I’m going to Italy tomorrow, so that’s a thing.

Renae: What part are you going to? Southern, right.

Laura: Yeah. Yeah. I am going to. After we get off, I just have a tiny thing, a work thing to finish. And then I, um, I’m going to just, like, get my stuff together and just start researching how to navigate things and where we might eat and that kind of stuff. Like, we don’t I, we only have like, one or two meals that we need to eat. The rest of it’s included in our retreat. Um, so that’s why we haven’t done more research right now. It’s not like I have to fill up nine days of food, just like three meals. So, um, I’m going to do that, and I, I have been, um, just working to get everything done, like work, work. And so I’m feeling a little burned out from that. I’m feeling better today, but like yesterday, like my one client was like, okay, well, we’re gonna do this thing and we need you to write. You know, we have ten descriptions that need written. And I was like, I can’t do it before I leave. Which normally I would at least be nicer about it. And yesterday I was just like, so done, I was like, nope, we’re we’re through here.

Renae: So what is what is it about our lives? Where. Time off is never time off. Because Like, I don’t think I’ve ever had time off. That didn’t include, like, a ton of work to get there and then a ton of work afterward. Like, there’s always a catch up. And so what is what is up with our pace of life?

Laura: Yeah.

Renae: That vacation isn’t vacation or time off. Isn’t time off?

Laura: Yeah. Yeah. It’s a it’s an interesting question. Like, how is it that we allow ourselves, I don’t want to say allow ourselves to be manipulated, but, like, you know what I mean? Like, I could have set a boundary earlier than yesterday. Um, but I am going to go completely offline. I mean, I’m going to take the online things I want to take with me, but I’m not going to do any work. I’m setting my out of office responder like, I’m not. I’m I’m out of the country. I’m not responding to you. So I’m definitely not going to work. I used to have a really bad habit of working on vacation, and then I. I don’t know what happened, but now I don’t do that anymore.

Renae: Yeah, but.

Renae: I don’t take vacation, so I just circumvent that whole thing. Anyway, so. I was actually on a retreat last week for three days, and it was.

Renae: It.

Renae: Was a very specific group of people. It’s actually a very short list of people in some respects that that fall into these categories. And it was an invitation thing, not to be exclusive, but because it’s a very short list. Like you wouldn’t advertise it because there’s, you know. Maybe two hundred people ish that would be on that list. So, um, and we are all, um, people with significant levels of parental strife in, uh, parenting children with trauma in specific ways. And it was it was a nice it was actually was a retreat. And so for that I’m I’m really grateful. Um, there wasn’t while there were like, sessions, they weren’t homework sessions or, like, supposed to be like learning sessions. They were discovery or reflection type things. Um, there was a lot of laughter. There was there was scheduled free time. Um. The the schedule was not communicated ahead of time. Um, which provides me with no felt safety whatsoever.

Laura: Mhm.

Renae: Um, and then even on the schedule, there was like an, a surprise guest on this night and I’m like, I don’t like surprises like that. How do I know if I want to go?

Laura: Yeah.

Renae: Right. And, like. And then they’re like, we’re going to go to the beach on this day and the vans will pick us up. And I was like, I’ll be driving. I’m like, I’ll drive to the beach. I’m not going to. I’m no, I’m good, I’m good. Um, and so, um, I have to have like a deep level of trust for whoever’s organizing that. They know me well enough. And there were, there were, you know, I gave my food preferences, which is like, you know, don’t give me anything that’s going to kill me. Here’s a list of things that will kill me. Um, and everything was good up until the last night. Of course, like the main course, the, like, the only protein was the thing. I can’t, I think I can’t eat, um, and so we found another solution, which was. Um, it was awful. Um, but it was fuel. It was fuel, and I was. I was grateful for having fuel. Um. But during that beach excursion, we’re sitting on the the beach, and we have these lovely Turkish towels, bath towels, which, by the way, I’ve never had one before, and I am completely obsessed now.

Laura: Interesting.

Renae: They are lovely. They’re like thin and that tight weave and sand does not get through them. You can literally do yoga on the beach on those suckers because sand does not get through them. Like they’re not thick. And then is it they then they dry you off like a towel. And you can also use them as like a lightweight but tight knit blanket. Like for it’s cold, but it’s also cooling, so it’s not too hot. It’s lovely. And so anyway, we had put those out on like out. And then there were pop ups and people were like talking about vacations and all the places you can go. You know, they have lots of large families. And so it’s like, oh, this is place is cheap and this place is cheap, and this is a good value. And this is fun and this is terrible. I looked up and I was like, y’all go on vacation. I’ve been on one one in fourteen years.

Laura: Wow.

Renae: One. Um, and it’s again, I think it’s the. It wasn’t like it was modeled well for me in that usually my days off as a child were spent at a relative’s house, working. And even in the summers as a kid, I was if I was not with, um, another parent because of a split custody. Um, I was at working. It was all like everything was. Work. Um.

Laura: Wow. Interesting.

Renae: I wasn’t really modeled, but I know I’m not alone in it, because how many times do you hear people say I need a vacation from my vacation?

Laura: Yes. Totally. Yeah. I find that when that happens to me, it’s more about the people that. You know what I mean? Like, we have to take a family vacation or something like that. And I’m with a bunch of people that maybe suck my energy a little bit.

Renae: And that makes sense. And then this one, do you are you going to have, like, a whole load of things when you get back?

Laura: Uh, I don’t think so. I think we match most of it before I left. Um. Yeah, we I have a couple of things that that I think are going to come through for October. Um, so I, I’m actually kind of coming back to some uncertainty. My contract that I’ve been on since January with this one client, um, this is the last month of it, and I’m not upset about that, but I am like, okay, well, that was a lot of revenue. Um, so I’m curious as to where I like. I think about it, and I feel like I should be more freaked out than I am, but I just kind of like, okay, well, something will come through. Um, and so I do have a couple things that are maybe lined up for October. And then there’s also some stuff on this current contract where, um, I don’t know if we’ll have what I need to finish it, finish out some on some open tasks because the client is just taking a long time making decisions and getting back to us. So that might run into October, but I don’t feel any stress about it, honestly. And I feel like I’m going to be able to go and enjoy my time as much as I. I’m going to try to enjoy my time, um, and not feel too lonely for Dan. And, um, I think it will be a good, like, kind of reset, you know, how I’m going to do yoga twice a day for eight days? Like what? I like I can’t think of a better way to clear out my headspace.

Renae: Right?

Laura: So, yeah, I’m. I’m taking my notebook and my and my sketchbook and all my pens. So I’m going to do like a bunch of Zen doodles and just that kind of stuff and then some free riding and I mean, like only things that I want to do and. Right, like not work stuff. Um, so I’m looking forward to that too. So. Yeah. Yeah, I’m feeling okay about it.

Renae: And how are you capturing ideas for yourself right now? Because you you get lots of ideas of, I want to try this. I want to try this. Where do you put those?

Laura: Um, I am really doing a fair job of an above average job for me of focusing on a thing right now. Um. And I just have. I have a notebook where I keep all of those ideas and. Right.

Renae: Going with you.

Laura: Yes.

Renae: Mhm.

Laura: Yeah. Yeah. Hopefully we’ll get filled out more. Um so yeah. And then I’m also trying to. I’m also actively. Uh, doing an exercise where I’m not feeling behind or like I wish I could get more stuff done and actually more successfully than I have been able to in a while.

Renae: Why do you think that is?

Laura: I think I just finally got tired of myself being like, you need to be doing more. You need to be doing more. Why isn’t this working? Why isn’t this working? And I think it’s a thing that we’ve talked about before, which is, you know, this desire to get to an end state which really never comes. And I feel like that’s a like if you if I started here at not knowing that lesson like I spin through a cycle that okay, like I know it a little better here, but I still have to kind of go through that again. And now I’m kind of I’m getting closer to knowing, you know what I mean? Like, I feel like I’ve been on a cyclical journey with that particular lesson, and I’m getting closer to knowledge.

Renae: Yeah.

Laura: You know what I mean?

Renae: Yeah, totally. Totally. Because it’s, um, because we are very, I think in general broad strokes statement, um, we’re like, we’re short sighted people. Um, and so we think the lesson is about the thing right in front of us. And it’s not until we get to the next time that we’re like, oh, that was actually for this time, too. Oh, and it was actually for this time, too. And, um, I think that for me, like even somebody asked me on the retreat because they had a yoga practitioner come and do two sessions and I had full intentions, I, and I even brought mats for other people because we didn’t know there was going to. We didn’t have the schedule, we didn’t know there’s going to be a yoga practitioner. Um, and so I brought mats because I was like, let’s just do yoga. Um, and so then they’re like, oh, on this day they had like ten, ten minute chair massages. Um, which again, I, I am super grateful for, even though it is just a tease. Um, let’s just be just a tease. Yeah. Um, and then they had yoga on that day, and then I, like, made my, I had a oil, the lava bead bracelet, so I made one. I haven’t had one in a hot minute. And, um, so I’ve been putting my new favorite thing on that. And so it was nice and, but, uh, I ended up like, after the massage, I was like, I’m taking a nap. And then I took another nap, and I was like, you know, um, and I had to go break my bracelet. They’re like, it’s five minutes to dinner. And I turned to someone. I go, I will not be rushed. You’re like, well, you might have to choose between the bracelet and dinner. And I’m like, I will not be rushed. I’m too old for that. I will not be rushed.

Laura: Yeah, yeah, I’ll get there when I get there.

Renae: Oh, you know what? It’ll still be food by the time I get there. And turns out I couldn’t eat it anyway, so, um. But the. As we’re walking to to dinner, it was really beautiful. It was underneath this tree with lights. It was. It was really beautiful. You could see stuff. Beautiful. Um, a good friend of mine was at this as well. One of actually one of my besties. Um, and she said, okay, you like yoga? And I was like, yes. And she’s like, okay. So it was nice and this and this. But I kept thinking to myself, would I really carve out an hour for myself to do this? Like. And it was a, it was like a restorative. Right. And and she’s like like it feels like it’s kind of like a waste of time and like, I have things to do. And I was like, friend, everything you’re saying is the exact reason that you need to be on that mat.

Laura: Right? That’s so funny.

Renae: And and so I think with, even with yoga, like, people are like, is it really working me out? Is it really, you know, like, I’m not flexible, at which point I’m like, you know, the reason that you do yoga is so that you can become flexible. Like when that’s you could either you could do breathing exercises by themselves and you would get total benefit. And that’s a form of yoga. But the movement is to increase. It’s to increase your flexibility, but not just your physical flexibility.

Renae: Yeah.

Renae: And then, like you and I have talked about so many times that it permeates into the other parts of your life.

Laura: Yeah. It creates space. Face.

Renae: Yeah. And and I think, um, I can usually tell for people and I you probably. I bet you’ve had this experience too. You can tell when you get to Shavasana. For those who’ve, uh, don’t know what shavasana is, that’s when you do corpse pose, um, which is where you’re laying down and you are doing a, a very introspective relaxation, breathing thing. That’s. I guess that’s the only way I could think of to explain it. Um, there might be different practices that you’re guided through during that time, but you are you are engaged in a in a form of active slash inactive rest. I don’t know how else to explain it. It’s such a weird.

Renae: It’s such a hardest part of.

Laura: Practice for some people.

Renae: one hundred percent, one hundred percent. And and you can tell the people is your is if you’re the if you’re the Yogi watching people, you can tell where it is, where it is like people are either in it or they are not in it and they are fighting tooth and nail. It is really, really fascinating to watch. Very. And it’s it. And so it was nice because there was another person who is a Yogi, yoga instructor, who said restorative is probably not the place to start. It that’s actually I know it sounds like it sounds like it’s always gentle. It’s actually a really hard place to start if you haven’t done yoga before. And and I was like, oh yeah, like a level one probably actually is where you want to start because you that person I know that’s my friend. She likes to complete tasks she likes to like, you know, and she runs and she’s active and all these types of things and that. So that would be better. And to continue to hold on to this lesson of why was the stillness so hard, and why do you think you’re not worth an hour? You know, like there’s all these and then it trickles out to all these other places. Um, when you start to say, like, wait a minute, I’m worth it. And so part of my message during the retreat is we were talking about the, the self-care component. Um, I just kept saying to people, I want to be really clear, self-care is not so you can care for others. It is not for you. So you can cure it is because you are worthy of care. Period. And it’s okay for you to care for yourself and it’s okay for you to receive care, period. It’s not so that you can be the most amazing foster or adoptive parent or caregiver or ministry person or person on a stage or whatever it is, because you are worthy of it. Full stop. And it was really hard for people. Because I think it’s really hard for people.

Laura: Yeah. Yeah. It’s interesting what feels like a waste of time to people and I don’t know. Two things make me think of two things. One of them is I am in a discussion group with a bunch of people who are in, who are creative professionals, and they’re working through. Well, one of them is working through The Artist’s Way, which I don’t know if you’re familiar with that. But one of the exercises in that is you do Morning Pages, which is just like you free write for like three pages. And it it literally takes fifteen minutes, which to me isn’t that much time. But the discussion in this and this isn’t like an electronic like chat. It’s on slack. And the person was saying like it was hard for them to do the morning pages. And then someone else chimed in and was like, yeah, morning pages is a huge commitment. And I was like, that’s a really interesting that’s a really interesting, um, point of view. And because.

Renae: It’s electronic.

Laura: A lot of times I don’t like, like, you know, if we were in person, I would be like, so it takes fifteen minutes. Like, tell me about why that feels like it’s too much time for you, but because.

Renae: It’s electronic.

Laura: I don’t want to be that. It feels argumentative to me. Like, I think I don’t want to open up like a big back and forth. But yeah, so that just happened. So like a similar experience that you just had, your friend was just like, oh, that’s too much. But we um, in my yoga classes this month, we are talking about there’s one yoga sutra that talks about, um, cultivating friendliness and joy and compassion in your mind.

Renae: And with the.

Laura: With the result being that your mind will be a calmer and more serene place, you know. And that’s to me that like that can that’s its own reward. That’s okay. Like that’s not so your mind is serene so you can go out and save the world. That’s just so that you can feel calm and peaceful. I mean, and by the way, you’re going to be in a better place if you do choose to go out and save the world. But like, let’s start small.

Renae: And work from there.

Renae: Right. Like that’s the that it it’s, it is such a. My mind’s a little bit blown actually as we’re having this conversation because I just had this kind of like moment about. Why. Why is it so hard for us to be okay with joy, not happiness, but actually experiencing joy or contentment or fulfillment or any of that. And that it’s it’s not something that you strive for. It’s something that you create. You practice leaving space for so that you can encounter it, embrace it, experience it, and recognize it. Right. And that part of what we do as humans is when a person is struggling to see any good, when they’re in the midst of the crap as we walk alongside and we don’t say, but look, this is fine. We say, I’m right here. I’m right here. You’re not alone. And you, you you help them by your presence. See that? That. That. What’s in front of them is not the only thing that they’re. And that they’re not alone. And that allows them at some point to look up and see the other pieces of it, see a fuller truth. And it seems to me that this narrative of spending the time on yourself to do that inner work, to create that space, to reflect, to challenge narratives, all of that is been, you know, the narrative is that’s a waste of time. Or if it’s not in service of someone else, it’s not worth it. Or you’re not a professional. You need someone else to guide you all these things so that you’re you’re kept in this, this loop of it’s back to like, it’s not enough. I don’t have enough. I’m it’s scarcity. Maybe this program, maybe this thing, maybe this thing. Well, all of these. Maybe that’ll provide me the joy or the happiness or the contentment or a way to get to my my own self. And. Because it. Imagine it. Just imagine if if thousands of people. Were like, no, I’m protesting by creating this space for myself and saying, I don’t need to live life in this particular way that has me on this hustle and on this bustle and all these types of things. Then they will have the capacity to look up, and they will be more creative for problem solving, and they will have more compassion. And a bunch of industries will be threatened, and a bunch of high control entities will be threatened. And so in some ways, like this, this. It’s it it’s it’s one of the most rebellious things we can do is to actually take care of ourselves.

Renae: Yeah.

Laura: I was saying yesterday in my class that it’s it’s kind of a wild act because we have someone after I do the same sequence of poses every, every class for the month. And so last week when I introduced this new sequence, now it is kind of crazy. And I’m asking people to do a lot of balance stuff and like put their bodies in ways they’re not used to and, you know, all in service to being more aware of your body and what’s happening. And the person after that class said, oh, well, this is that was kind of wild. And it reminded me of the story where my the person who is now my husband, who at the time of the story, we were in high school and we were just good friends, and we worked at the pool together with this third guy, and his name was Shane, and Shane was, um, from. We all lived in southern Ohio, but Shane lived out in the county, and so we kind of had this delightful Appalachian affect to his voice. And we went to Taco Bell, and the Taco Bell had recently opened. And this was like, you know, ten thirty after we had gotten off this shift at the at the pool, and Taco Bell was running a promotion at the time that if you wanted, you could like increase the heat level on anything by asking for it to be wild. I don’t know if you remember that, but anyway, so, you know, Dan’s driving and he he, um, orders something and he asked, what do I want? And he orders my thing. And then he asked Shane what he wanted. Shane said, I’ll have three Taco Bell Supremes make them wild. And so that’s what I was encouraging everyone to do in class. Just like it’s okay, it’s wobbly, it’s weird, it’s wild. But to your very point at the end of class, I said, you know, is it kind of a wild act for us to cultivate compassion, friendliness and joy in our own minds so that our minds can be calm and serene in this world of anxious and frightening influence?

Renae: Yeah. Oh, I like that. In this world of anxious and frightening influence. And I think that’s so poignant. It’s one of the things I was thinking a lot about this weekend was a conversation. And I think I, I think I talked to you about this at some point, but I don’t remember if I have. But this conversation I had with a family member back in either twenty seventeen or eighteen. And it was the first time I started to really get political on my Facebook with um, and I have been my version of political is to state. State things that we have accepted as truths that we would normally say, yeah, that’s right, but have come into conflict with that. What did you say? The anxious and.

Laura: Frightening influence.

Renae: And anxious and frightening influence and I and so I will I will say, huh. So my understanding of this word is this and we’ve all accepted it. But this is an interesting take, you know, like that. And then I will also say like, huh, here’s some scripture that we and we all want to say we hold Scripture in high value. And here’s this passage. And I’m not seeing how these two things connect. How do these two things connect, you know. And so I posted something talking about how in the Bible it talks about or um, if you’re as you’re maturing, you stop drinking milk as much and you eat meat because that’s how your, your development, your digestive system works. And that that’s for our heart, mind, body and soul as well. And I said, you know, the things that I understood as a child, I know, I know that they’re not all the same. I know that I understand them very differently now, and I am I am not who I was when I was a child, and I’m not who I was told to be when I was a child. And someone said, like, that’s really disrespectful for your family to say that. And, um, you know, went through this whole conversation and then said, um, what was this frightening and An anxious entity or, you know, uh, energy, whatever. Um, what what’s ever been done to you directly? Why do you have a problem? And I at the time said. Anything, any person, any organization, any entity, any movement, any culture is focused on driving decisions made out of fear is not holy. That is the opposite of what is good. And. That. And then I said. And the the unkindness. I’m like, there’s a spirit of unkindness that comes with that. That is just so antithetical to what what I believe we’re supposed to be as humans. And I know it sounds to some people so namby pamby. And at that point I was called a bleeding heart liberal. They’re like, oh, you’re just a bleeding heart liberal. And I was like, uh, willing to sacrifice for others, love people and liberal with my love. I’m good, I’m good. Yeah. That’s okay. You know. Fine. Doesn’t mean anything to do with how I vote. But if you want to say that I’m liberal with my love, great. Um. But it’s that that anxious and frightening spirit. And and while it’s really on the forefront of a lot of, of things that we’re experiencing, um, directly right now in spaces, I think it it’s always been the thing that we, that we as humans have had to fight. against when we’re like, I don’t I, I don’t want to be manipulated into anxiety. I don’t want to be controlled. I don’t want to be surprised. I don’t want, you know, like, I want to make choices and, and, um, have agency and, and navigate the way I need to navigate and so that I can show up as my full self.

Laura: Yeah. I think people forget that they have agency.

Renae: Yeah.

Laura: Um, and which, you know, brings us back to that time of quiet and self-reflection. That’s one of the things that makes it so important. It’s for you to have that time to understand yourself. And you know what the situation is. I was talking with a a good friend this morning and who’s struggling with anxiety and some mild depression. And she was saying like, you know, part of. So I’m just we’re just talking and I’m just asking her questions like, what makes you feel like that? Why do you feel like that? And one of the things that she said was like, I just don’t feel like I’m keeping up with. I’m not doing enough, you know, like everyone else seems to be doing this thing and that thing and, and I just feel like I have the resources where I could really be excelling and I’m not. And I said, well, what is it that you feel like you should be doing that you’re not? And basically the place where we got to was like, she kind of has a vague idea that she should be doing, you know, better or whatever. And I said, well, you know, like, I think what would be valuable for you is to really ask yourself, why do you feel that way? And then also like, define what you mean by better because you know, you’re doing all of these other things. Maybe you should be doing more. Maybe you shouldn’t. I don’t know the answer to that. It’s up to you to define, but could you sit, sit with it and come up with some specific information and then, you know, like if just better is hard, you’re never going to get to that goal. But if you feel like you don’t have enough connections, if you have three connections, do you need ten connections? Like what? How can you define that? And then you you then can say, no, I don’t need ten connections. Or here’s how I’m going to get ten connections. You know, like I think that a lot of us can like forget that we have the the capacity to say, okay, like just being better or being busier or being productive, like, what do those things even mean? And then we if you feel like you’re never enough of those, well, you never will be because you have you know, it’s it’s not a specific enough goal to aim for. Right.

Renae: Right. Yeah. No, I think you’re exactly right. It’s the same thing as we’ve talked about with yoga is there’s no end. There’s no end to the pose. Right? It’s it is just, uh. So either you come to either you come to peace with being at the edge of a pose and saying that contentment. I think it was like our one of our first conversations of about this is the can I be can I find peace in where I’m at right now? This is where I’m supposed to be so I can learn the lessons of this particular space. Right. Um, or you figure out you need an adaptive pose, like, it’s like if maybe, maybe it’s not the right pose for you to learn that particular lesson. Maybe there’s another approach to it. Cats. Um, there’s another approach to it that will actually give you, um. That thing that you’re that you’re. It’s weird because, no, you don’t strive. And when I look at scorpion pose, when I look at that, I think to myself, oh, that’s got to feel so good. Like, I look at my when my body thinks about being in that pose, it’s like, that has to feel so good. When I see, um, an inversion, my body does not say, that’s got to feel good. My body’s like, heck no. No thank you. Here’s all the reasons we do not like that.

Laura: Um.

Renae: But when I see, you know, like, there’s these different poses, when I. The reason I started went to and learned how to do queen pigeon and slowly worked into that is because when I do it, it feels so good. Like my body’s like. Ah. Right. And so that’s different than like I did this and. You know, like or I did it, I made it, I did, you know, and yes, they took poses because. Our pictures. Because dang, who knows if I was ever going to get back in that pose, you know. And I haven’t for many years. Um, but but it’s not because of the. I’m so cool. I did this pose. It was the like my. It’s for my body. It’s for my my brain. It’s for my self to feel that moment of like I don’t. How do what how would you describe that?

Laura: Yeah, I, I think that to me it helps release you from black and white thinking because it’s not like you, you’re you’re in this pose or you’re not. That’s not it. You know, it’s either like, I’m going to find a way to adapt this pose to what I can do, or I’m going to figure out a way to build strength or figure out a way to to balance better. And that’s its own interesting reward. Either on either side of that, you know, like, to me, there’s a lot of creativity in figuring out how to use props and something that we, um, that our body isn’t naturally capable of doing. The, the quote, classic expression of the pose, you know. So, okay, how do I prop this so that I can put my body in this shape? Or how do I build strength or or figure out a technique to, to do a different expression of the pose? Yeah. So I just I love it for the whole gray area that it is. And the challenge of being in the moment as you, you know, started off with like, okay, this is where I am today.

Renae: Mhm.

Laura: Let’s be okay with today, right now and this.

Renae: And it’s not an acquiescence. It is a. Where can I luxuriate in that moment.

Laura: Yeah.

Renae: Where can I just it’s like it is the where can I find. Remember not strive for not create, not grasp. But where can I find the peace in this moment? Where can I find that contentment of of like the oh, look, look what I just discovered here. Right. And it and we don’t have space for curiosity and openness and, um, the, the eyes, ears, whatever to see your experience, that type of, um, uh, those types of things. Um, unless we have created the space. So just like at the beginning of the conversation, talking about with vacations and taking time away. Um, there is a mindfulness piece to it that says, how am I creating? Carving out, creating, designating this as a sacred time, a pulled apart time or space or moment and and protecting it. Right. You’re not taking you’re not answering emails. You’re not doing these things. You’re like, this is how I am protecting this time so that I can fill out my notebook of ideas so that I can experience and not feel rushed, so I can enjoy the sunshine and the food and the company and all of those things. And it it does require us to carve, you know, like plan ahead to carve that out. Um, and if we don’t, if we don’t do that for ourselves, we better hope we have a travel buddy that can help us to do that, right? That’s why that is literally why I do capacity coaching. And this is the thing. It’s like people are like, I don’t know how to get. I’m like, I got you. This is how we get there. This is, um, I create when I do different things. I create that sacred space for people to say, you’re worthy of all this time. Just you by yourself. You didn’t do anything. Just you. So what is the mantra that you. If you feel yourself falling into the production trap or the. I don’t think you will. I think actually I can tell by your face, you’ve actually done a really good job of preparing yourself. Uh, for those who can’t see Laura’s face, um, she’s, like, actually very serene, even in this moment. Um, but if you if you were going to give advice to someone about something that they might say to themselves. Uh, if, you know, to help focus what it or something that has helped you in the in the past to come back. Mine is, mine is come back to center. Like that is my come back, breathe in and come back to center. And that helps me. How about you?

Laura: Yeah. I say I’m exactly where I need to be. This is. This is the place.

Renae: Yeah. Yeah.

Laura: Sometimes I it’s it’s harder for me to listen to that than other times, but but to your very point, this is the reason that I spent so much time doing yoga, doing self-exploration like I do. Spend a lot of time on that. And people do say, how do you have the time? And sometimes I feel like I don’t and I, I, um, suffer for it when I don’t. Yeah, I really suffer for it. And everyone else around me does too.

Laura: Because exactly how I feel.

Laura: So it instead of taking up time and taking up space, it creates time and space for me to be more, and I hate to say, more productive in the time that I do have, but in this instance, I mean productive in a way that is productive for me personally. Um, it allows me to be a better observer of what I’m doing on a more efficient actor in the things that I have to do, like we’ve talked about one hundred times, you know, reaction versus action. Yes, response. And so I am much more able to respond in a way that is constructive for everyone, On, including myself, when I have cultivated my time and space through mostly through my yoga practice.

Renae: And I would even go so far as to reframe that concept of production as when I when I do my practices. Um, and they are practices, um, for my for my alignment, heart, mind, body and soul. When I do those as my daily, um, those that aligns me in a way that lets me access myself. I’m not distracted. I’m not preoccupied. I’m not. Um, um, I have I have put the things in place and said, what is it that I need in order to access myself today? Um, so that I can bring my creativity so I can bring my compassion so I can bring my mindfulness, my awareness. And I know ultimately that will help me to complete things and to do things. Um, and I think, and maybe this is like the joy of being middle aged, is that like, I also would really like to just enjoy some of my life. Um, so there’s that, like there’s the there’s a piece of this should this should be kind of enjoyable at points. Right.

Laura: Right there. Joy in your mind just for the sake of having a serene mind.

Renae: So well as as always.

Renae: Laura, it is such a treat. Um, thank you for hanging out and talking about. Really, these are actually important things. Our our ways of peaceful protest, of.

Laura: Yeah.

Renae: Quiet rebellion.

Laura: So everybody getting shavasana.

Renae: There you go. I remember the first time I. The first time my introduction to yoga was to buy a deck of, of yoga cards from, uh, it borders book Store at the time. I don’t think they exist anymore. And I, I opened it up and it was like pose one corpse. And I turned to my husband. I’m like, well, I can already do yoga.

Laura: This seems like a great practice for me.

Renae: I’m like, this is great. So, um, we’ll have a great trip. And, uh, thank you, thank you.